Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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