it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
God, I missed his penis.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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