But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
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