I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
