You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
