ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
