Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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