Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
