Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Randomize
