So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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