Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
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I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
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You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
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