sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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