So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
