i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
