I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
