Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
