i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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