he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
