I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I just found a bag of teeth...
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
