I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
