Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
