Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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