I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
