are you still at the devil's house?
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Randomize
