With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
