listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
pray to the hookup gods
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
