I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
