Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
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