I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
