literally had 100 drinks last night.
babies were throwing up all over the place
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
