I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Randomize
