I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Randomize
