found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
