i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
