All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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