If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
