Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Randomize
