i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
