Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize