Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Randomize
