i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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