I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
