So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
