I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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