I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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