ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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