Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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