he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Vodka?
Forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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