I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
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