I wish life had little blips of pornography
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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