I think I died a long time ago.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
