I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
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