WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
