Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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