Are we in a gay sports bar?
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
