Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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