the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
