a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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