i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I just googled if crying burns calories
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
