did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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