No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
