My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Randomize
